The Journey of Eternity

I’m still here, but I’m not me. I’m buried under the tides seeking a time when I felt more alive. I’m seeking a time of simplicity & contentment which had fallen to the end of the ocean during unspoken times. I can’t stay on the bottom forever. At some point I will have to come up for air. Maybe when I come back to shore I will bring bright corals & tell of sea horses & mermaids in a land you’ll never know. But it’s getting dark & lonely down here now. Would you mind lifting the world off my shoulders so I can catch my breath?

i smash beer bottles when im drunk

There are moments in life when the weight of the world is lifted off your shoulders; when you forget everything and get caught in the bright lights; moments when yesterday & tomorrow doesn’t matter because you’re living now. There are moments in life when you snap back to realty and realize you have broken glass in your foot.

Life is full of stressors; stressors that we cannot outrun or hide from. We cannot detach our selves from many of these stressors by using the 'out of sight, out of mind' method. Sometimes the constant supply of energy our lives require can only be interupted by shutting off our brain. To shut off our brain temporarily we party. Nothing says encephalopathy like tequila shots and grinding on the dance floor.

With all of life’s stresses and uncertainties it is very easy to get caught up in the brightly lit absence on the dance floor. The lights may distract us for a moment, but the inevitable remains splintered into our minds for eternity. How precious are the moments we cannot remember, in a life we cannot forget.

It's the ties that bind that keep us all alive...

It’s sunny today. I have finally wiped the mud from my eyes and can see the sun shining down on me. My body is bruised and fatigued from the fight, but that can be fixed. It has taken a long time and great effort, but the walls have finally tumbled to the ground. The tall, over bearing walls are merely little twigs now left on the ground to decompose and to be walked on, much like the monster who once lived inside me. The blueprint for the foundation still exists somewhere deep within my trail of thought. Thus, there is still a possibility that the sense of eternal damnation could return. I will stomp on the twigs each and every day in attempt to prevent a return.

The weight of the world has been lifted from my shoulders. I can only hope and pray, and live each day to it’s fullest. This is who I am. I have finally risen from the smothering depths of depression and been revived. I owe a lot to the heroes who never cut the ties that kept me alive when I had convinced myself I was dead. No matter how deep “I” buried myself, you always managed to radiate your strength and your courage into my soul. Thank you for keeping me alive.

Now that I have risen to Earth and freed myself from confinement, it is time to begin my journey to the moon. You never know when you’re going to die, biologically or psychologically, so take advantage of the days you have as the free, happy, caring, creative, and stubborn person you are. I forgot I was a person once, and where the moon was, and how to stay on Earth. But because of you, I’m half way to the moon, & I’m never turning back. :-)

Thank you.