So.... while watching “Pirates” one afternoon, I got to thinking; What is sex all about anyway? I have concluded that sex is untimely blood, skin, and friction. Let me explain...
See at one point us ‘humans’ used sex as a survival technique; a way to maintain our existence on the face of the Earth and carry on our gene pool. Eventually, sex became a method of expressing feelings of love and romance towards your mate.
However, things have changed.....
How do us modern time mammals mate today? Why of course, we go to the bars & the internet to pick up people just as sexually frustrated as we are. You go home. Lights off. Clothes partially undone. 5 minutes (if you’re lucky), then he is up and out the door. Wow... how romantic!
This act of release has become represented as a fun & competitive sport in our society. However, there’s a 9/10 chance that there’s no emotional connection between these two animals. No romance at all. The whole freakin’ process is physical! Guy sees girl/girl see guy. Thinks “S/He’s do-able”. Boom endorphins are running, blood is flowing, hearts are pounding, and their minds are set on one thing...fiction. Ladies, what the hell is so fascinating about this process? Is it about a blood filled piece of skin that thankfully we do not have? Is it that this feature can go from microscopic to miniature and vice versa on command? Or the fact that the simple in & out action makes it so dizzy it throws up everywhere? It’s so cute though... a penis is like a little kid trying to get on a carnival ride: it stands on it’s tip toes to pass for the accepted height to get on the ride, shrinks into it’s seat once the ride starts, and just when the ride starts to get exciting, it spews what it ate for supper. The duration of the ride is affected by two issues: preme guys & chronic masturbators that only get off in the comfort of their computer chair. But it doesn’t matter, you’re not going to feel it anyway! Wouldn’t one of those long skinny water balloons be more fun? At least then you can fill them up and get yourself wet without having to fake it.
As for the reproduction part... Chances are if Tom & Sally are knockin’ boots, then either he’s wearing a condom or his swimmers are as dumb as he. Not only are we not creating future generations by trapping our little men in latex balloons, but we’re wiping out our own by inbreeding diseases. Sypherea anyone? Although when I think about it, I would rather not get pregnant by some sex crazed animal anyway. 9 months later – congratulations... you’re fat, broke, alone, and have a kid that’s the spitting image of his father... wherever he is. Ultimately, you spent 10 minutes of regret for a torment that lasts until you die... or they die, but I don’t recommend interfering with fate.
Your advice to me after all this is probably going to be to not have sex with sex crazed stupid guys with small dicks. .....but who’s left? Seriously though, why go through all the trouble to take your clothes off & put them on for friction. Seriously! I feel friction all the time, by myself, whenever I want, where I want, with all my clothes on. I just rub my hands together. It gets all hot & sweaty with no mess to clean up afterwards.
As far as I’m concerned, if it doesn’t feel good, look good, or make you happy, then why do it? Until a handsome knight in shining armour with a large bag of flesh and blood learns how to light a candle and buy flowers, This Little Red is Riding the Abstaining Train. Happy Humping! (And for friction sakes, use a condom!!)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment